ya dads aren't the best wingmen
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
