Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
