entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
