Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
