i jhust puked up my retainher.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
