508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
