Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
