opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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