come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This baby is an asshole
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
