soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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