"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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