i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
barbara walters just said penis...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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