I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
