I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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