That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
