Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
