Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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