Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
