I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
