I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
