But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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