I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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