I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I believe in your delicious
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
