i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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