even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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