I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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