4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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