There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
