My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
