i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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