Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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