He kissed a someone with a penis
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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