she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
