happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
