I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
