made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
