just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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