I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
