In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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