I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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