toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
