Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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