More tranny stories later!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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