is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
