she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
