My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
