You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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