and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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