hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
