the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
